Hollywood Movie
by WannabeWerewolf
Summary: Tsuzuki loves romance movies. Hisoka does not. TsuHis oneshot


"_I love you..."_

"_I love you too..."_

"_I've never met anyone like you..."_

Tsuzuki sighed happily, leaning forward on the couch. A grin was plastered across his face, as he gazed dreamily at the television set.

Hisoka glanced over to the man beside him, and sat back, rolling his eyes. With the promise of a "relaxing evening" Hisoka finally agreed to stay at Tsuzuki's apartment for "food and a little T.V"

Hisoka saw that everyday he found out something new about his partner. The day before it was the obligatory "Donut Day" Tsuzuki had. Today, it was Tsuzuki's weakness for sappy romance flicks.

This was certainly not the 'relaxing evening' Hisoka had in mind. Plus, the T.V sucked.

The teenager closed his eyes with the warning throb of an oncoming headache. As soon as this movie was over, Hisoka was darting for the door.

Tsuzuki sighed happily, resting his chin in his palms, eyes riveted to the screen. Hisoka opened his eyes and glanced at his partner again.

Agree to something so stupid. Why did Hisoka say yes?

Probably because Tsuzuki would whine until Hisoka gave in. _Or_, a nagging voice said quietly, _You just wanted to, relaxing evening or no._

Hisoka waved it off with a mental hand. That voice was always right, and Hisoka was consenting frequently now. He was weary of making excuses for himself. Excuses such as "I need a relaxing evening" or even "Everyone wants to be around Tsuzuki" Hisoka was not "everyone". He was Hisoka.

Even if it meant watching stuff like this, as well as watching Tsuzuki drool on the floor with rapture.

I wonder what he is thinking, Hisoka thought to himself as he continued to glance sidelong at the man. Tsuzuki was no longer in office clothes. He wore a very large T-shirt and sweatpants, the epitome of comfort. His suit jacket was tossed over the couch. His hair lay across his eyes, which were nearly brimming with tears as the movie suddenly turned dramatic.

The teenager did not frequently pick up any mental signs from his partner. He wasn't one to pry, even accidentally. And frankly, Tsuzuki's mind must be one scary place. Telling himself he was going to regret it, Hisoka lowered his mental barrier, and a barrage of thoughts flew in.

_That's so saaaad..._ Tsuzuki whined to himself._ Now she'll never see him again! And they just kissed! Why is it that when you love someone they leave so fast? Is she going to speak at his funeral? What is she going to say? I know what that must feel like, it sucks! Will it still happen now? Like, what if I tell Watari that he is a great friend? Will something happen to him? Well, nothing happened yet, but you never know! What about Hisoka! I'd die again if something happened to him! _

Hisoka instinctively covered his eyes. Yes, regretting it was an understatement.

_I was right! A funeral! I knew she was going to speak on his behalf...awww, she mentioned his visits to her apartment...that was really cute! Oh, damn. Hisoka is in my apartment right now...I'm gonna die! No! He's gonna die! We're both going to die! Shiiit, this is no good! What will I say if anything happened to him at a memory service in his behalf? Oh, I know 'I loved Hisoka very much, and that is why he is gone' Shit! _

Hisoka gritted his teeth, as he felt the blood rush to his face. Tea, now, he told himself firmly. Hisoka made to get up from the couch.

_I KNEW IT! Hisoka is going to die! He is going to walk to his death right now! I jinxed it! I suck...no...I have to stop him!_

Tsuzuki's hand shot out and grabbed Hisoka's wrist. Hisoka cursed mentally. "I'm just going to get tea" he mumbled.

Tsuzuki looked up. "No! You are going to miss the movie, Hisoka!" he pleaded. "We can go out for tea...after the movie is over!"

Hisoka raised an eyebrow. "What has gotten into you?" he thought, fully knowing the answer. "I'll be right back!"

Tsuzuki pulled down, forcing Hisoka back on the couch. "But this movie is so sad...I don't want to be left alone!" he whined.

_You'll die! DIE!_

Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Whatever" he mumbled. "It's just a movie...it's not real" he said, trying to diffuse the thoughts circulating in the man's head.

_Ah, no! Romance is real! Real, real real! I'll tell him so!_

"Well, Hisoka you know-" Tsuzuki began, finger raised in the air.

_No, Asato you idiot! He'll die! Don't tell him!_

_What will I do? Show him? _Tsuzuki argued with himself.

_Better than him dying, you moron!_

At this, Hisoka began to inch away. Romance movies were corrupting his partner's mind.

Tsuzuki quickly wrapped an arm around Hisoka's shoulders, and wrenched him close to himself. "You know that my stove is broken and you'll set the place on fire if you make tea" Tsuzuki lied quickly, shaking Hisoka.

Hisoka raised his eyebrows, levering himself off the couch. "We just cooked on it, you moron" he said. Hisoka stumbled back up.

Tsuzuki panicked, and wrenched him back down again, clutching him tighter.

_He'll blow himself up! Because of me and my insatiable needs! I suck so bad!_

"Well, no, when we were done, I broke it" Tsuzuki laughed. "I don't want to risk anything happening to my dear partner if you touch it!"

Hisoka gritted his teeth impatiently. Should he tell Tsuzuki he was listening to his thoughts this whole time? Hisoka looked down. Tsuzuki's hands were clasped tightly around the young man's waist.

"You know Tsuzuki, I-" Hisoka began, the truth on his lips.

Tsuzuki clamped his over the boy's mouth. "He left her a farewell letter! He knew she was going to die!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, gesturing wildly at the television.

Hisoka leapt up, free of Tsuzuki's arms. He walked quickly across the room, half expecting Tsuzuki to leap from the couch and charge him down.

But he didn't.

Hisoka looked back from the kitchen. A tear dripped slowly down Tsuzuki's face. Regardless of the distance, Hisoka still heard thoughts pouring into his head.

_That was so sad...he really did love her. And he told her too. Now look, Hisoka hates me! He ran away! He is going to run away and blow himself up because I care about him like the people in this movie, and I didn't tell him! Tell him, or no. Or what? He'll be scared and run away! Probably because I am _old_ and...and _immature_ and...I'm not some pretty girl! Aw, shit. I'm not watching these movies anymore. _

Hisoka frowned. This man was so pathetic. He was ripping himself apart. Hisoka sighed, and leaned against the counter, running his hands through his hair. What to do...walk in, and say he heard everything, or pretend nothing happened? Pretending wouldn't work...Tsuzuki would get himself in one of his moods.

Honesty would work. Hisoka thought to himself. Honesty that you heard, or honesty about how you feel? The voice asked in his head.

Ugh, both. I told myself I would regret it, didn't I? Hisoka asked himself.

The teenager peered back into the living room. Tsuzuki gazed glumly at the television, watching the credits roll by. Hisoka sighed, and stepped in.

"Hey, Tsuzuki. Let's go out for tea now" he said, pointing to the door.

Tsuzuki looked up, frowning slightly. "You're not mad at me?" he asked.

Hisoka shook his head, wanting to get the awkward business out of the way. "No. Why would I be? Let's go before all the places close"

_Ah! He's not mad! He wants to go out for tea! Oh no, maybe he's faking it!_

Hisoka clenched his fists with impatience. This guy just wouldn't get it. Striding over to the couch, Hisoka wrenched Tsuzuki up by the collar.

_Eeek! I'm in for it now!_

Hisoka hugged Tsuzuki tightly, patting his back reassuringly.

_Woah! Guess not. Holy cow!_

"You idiot" Hisoka grumbled. "Did you know I heard everything you thought about during that movie?"

Tsuzuki's eyes widened. "Ah...no, I didn't know" he said, laughing sheepishly. He wrapped his arms around Hisoka. "Heh heh..."

Hisoka looked up at Tsuzuki. "Paranoid idiot. And this is what I have to say to that if we are going to be honest"

Hisoka leaned up, and...

_HE'S GOING TO KISS ME! WOO!_

Hisoka hit Tsuzuki's forehead with his palm.

_SHIT! Gimme a break, Hisoka! _

"I am giving you a break" Hisoka said haughtily. "I am rather fond of you too, but I won't kiss you yet, you moron"

Tsuzuki hung his head, reject scrawled across his face. "This is okay then" he said, holding Hisoka tightly. Hisoka returned the hug, grinning into Tsuzuki's T-shirt, as he felt his partner's hands tremble on his back with shock.

_Then he doesn't think I'm OLD! These romance movies really are true...wait...he hears me right now...answer Hisoka! Don't me mean and full of riddles like you always are!_

"No, you are" Hisoka said swiftly. "Old as dirt"

"WHAAAAT!"


End file.
